During a conversation the other day, a young man expressed the desire to find serenity. Since then, I have been thinking further about how to define that elusive quality.
It strikes me first of all that serenity is not a quality but a process. As such, it is not something that one has so much as a way of living. I thought it might be useful to try to articulate what that way of life might look like.
We can begin with the center of a serene life — the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This simple prayer suggests several aspects of serenity to include:
1. faith. Serene people believe in some reality outside themselves. This is necessary to escape the confines of ego; 2. the capacity to let go. Serene people are able to recognize their own needs for control and to stop fighting when faced with powerlessness. 3. righteous anger. Serene people are not passive people. They are fully capable of speaking up and acting when faced with injustice or when trying to be of help.
Serene people are honest with themselves and not afraid to face unpleasant truths within. Avoiding oneself takes effort. Part of this honesty involves the capacity to confront one’s shortcomings and failings and to come up with a course of action.
Serene people have a boundless capacity to forgive both themselves and others. There is probably nothing more antithetical to serenity than resentment.
Serene people live their spiritual lives with discipline whether about prayer or meditation or service. One can’t live spiritual serenity when it’s convenient and one has a little extra time.
Serene people practice gratitude regularly. Serenity seems to go hand in hand with seeing life as full of gifts.
Finally, serene people are in some way of service. Again, there is the necessity of confronting and stepping outside of ego to find serenity.
I struggle with all these issues. I regularly trip over my ego. There is plenty about me that I’d just as soon avoid. I have a long list of resentments. Discipline is definitely not my strong suit. And there are days when I’d rather be left alone than serve. These struggles, however, do not mean I am unserene. There are victories when I manage to face a character defect or forgive or simply hit my knees and pray a prayer of thanksgiving. These victories are signposts that I am on Serenity Road.
Reflection: 1. Can you identify moments of serenity in your life?
2. Are there any spiritual practices that help you find serenity?