
On a cold night in 1940, Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, was lying on his bed above a local AA club building. He was most likely in a deep depression. He had not had a drink but was in dark place. AA was in its early days of struggling. Some members objected to AA splitting off from its spiritual ancestor the Oxford Group. An interview with a reporter interested in profiling AA had not gone well. Bill and his wife Lois had recently lost their home to foreclosure. Bill W., who likely suffered from depression, was feeling on the edge of hopelessness. A member of the club came upstairs and told Bill that some street person was downstairs and wanted to talk to him. Emotionally exhausted, Bill W. nonetheless agreed, thinking this might be another alcoholic seeking help.
Shortly a man dressed in dark clothes and walking with a cane came into Bill’s bedroom. After the man removed his coat, Bill saw the dark suit and Roman collar and realized this man was some sort of minister. Thus began a conversation that Bill W. later referred to as “my second spiritual awakening.” The visitor was Father Ed Dowling SJ.
Fr. Ed was a Jesuit priest from St. Louis who had heard of AA and was eager to learn more about it, hoping it could become a resource to alcoholics in the St. Louis area. He had read Alcoholics Anonymous, largely authored by Bill W., and had seen some parallels between the 12 Steps of Recovery outlined in that book and the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, the founder of the Jesuits.
Fr. Ed spent several hours with Bill W., that night, challenging Bill’s sense of defeat, making a point he would often make that Bill’s experiences of humiliation would be the doorway to humility, the key to any sort of spiritual growth. He challenged Bill to see that the struggles and depression Bill was going through were not interfering with his recovery or the growth of AA but were rather a doorway. For his part, Bill shared much of his own journey, in essence doing a Fifth Step with Fr. Ed.
As Fr. Ed left, he encouraged Bill to keep in touch, adding that, if Bill ever entered into such a place of hopelessness, Fr. Ed would show up and hit him over the head with his shillelagh (an Irish walking stick).
Bill W. would later describe the meeting in this way: “We talked about a lot of things and my spirits kept on rising and presently I began to realize this man radiated a grace that filled the room with a sense of presence. I felt this with great intensity. It was a moving and mysterious experience”
Bill W. would remain connected to Fr. Ed for the rest of Fr. Ed’s life and would refer to Fr. Ed as his spiritual mentor. Fr. Ed for his part would play a significant role not only in bringing AA to St. Louis but in supporting its growth throughout the 1950s. He also played a significant role in expanding the use of the 12 Steps for other issues beyond alcoholism. He would also meet with the journalist Jack Alexander who had interviewed Bill W. and helped that journalist formulate a positive picture of AA. The resulting article in Saturday Evening Post had a major impact on the spreading of AA.
Over the years, Bill W. would share with Fr. Ed his spiritual quest to seek a deeper understanding of his own spirituality. That quest took Bill W. into many areas to include exploring Catholicism, undertaking therapy with a Jungian therapist, spiritism, even LSD. Fr. Ed might challenge such explorations but always with a non-judgmental quality.
Fr. Ed Dowling died in early April 1960. He was 62. Bill W. would say of him “Ed was the greatest human soul I’m sure I shall ever know.”
Fr. Ed Dowling is not well-known in modern AA circles. But then that appears to have been his way. To have impact without attracting attention to himself.
Although not an alcoholic himself, Fr. Ed nonetheless suffered his own challenges. Since his early 30s he lived with increasingly debilitating arthritis and was in fairly constant pain as a result. Thus, he knew that the road to spiritual growth often led through suffering, a point he reiterated to Bill W. the night they first met.
As a person in recovery and as a Catholic, I find Fr. Ed’s story to be moving and inspiring. His grasp of the spirituality of AA and the Twelve Steps, his expansion of the 12 Steps to non-alcoholic populations, his activism on behalf of married couples, his commitment to helping persons of color all point to an extraordinary man. Beyond that, he was a Jesuit. The Jesuits have played a key role in my own journey, having attended a Jesuit high school and Jesuit college. Among many other learnings, the Jesuits taught me to examine any idea. Thus, at one point I was introduced in religion class to the writings of Nietszche. It was an early introduction for the caution I would later encounter in recovery — to avoid “contempt prior to investigation.”
There is not much written about Fr. Ed. Therefore I highly recommend the recent biography Father Ed: the Story of Bill W.’s Spiritual Sponsor by Dawn Eden Goldstein. I am grateful for her book. One of the joys of the recovery path is that there’s always something new to learn, a new voice to hear. At this point in my own journey, that voice is Father Ed Dowling’s





