Baseball, the Dudley Dome and Community

Some year ago as I was watching the ninth chapter of Ken Burns’ documentary on baseball, they were discussing baseball in towns across America. At one point they showed a ballpark with a variety of colorful ads on the outfield walls. One was for Dick Poe Autos. “That’s the Dome!” I said. And indeed it was Dudley Field, home for many years to the El Paso Diablos, a AA minor league baseball team. The ballpark was lovingly referred to as The Dome.

When we first moved to El Paso courtesy of the United States Army, a friend at the clinic where I worked told me early on “You have to go see the Diablos play!” And so some time after that I had my introduction to Dudley Field.

For many of us, being at a ballpark brings back baseball memories. I would spend hours in my backyard bouncing a rubber ball either off of the garage door to field grounders or off of the second floor to chase fly balls. I would position my cap loosely on my head so that, as I chased a fly ball, my cap would fly off just like Willie Mays. One of the great disappointments early on was when I learned I was ineligible for the Green Ridge Little League because we lived one block over the boundary between Scranton and Dunmore. Nonetheless, I would participate in many a pick-up game at nearby Maloney Field, a large dirt field with a baseball backstop. We would gather together and go through the ritual of hands on a baseball bat to determine who would start choosing sides first.

I was an avid collector of Topps baseball cards. When I was about 10 or so I was able to get the autograph of Jimmy Pearsall of the Red Sox on my baseball card. This became a prized possession.

My Dad was not much of a baseball fan but would play catch with me. He in fact gave me my first glove — an Early Wynn model. I was delighted when Early Wynn was voted into the Hall of Fame. My Dad did take me to several baseball games, some in Philadelphia to see the hapless Phillies and a few in New York. One game in particular was memorable. I had wanted to see Jimmy Pearsall play but by 1961 he was playing for the Cleveland Indians and so my Dad took me to see them play the Yankees. This was in the midst of Roger Maris pursuing Babe Ruth’s home run record and indeed we saw Maris hit his 56th.

Somehow sitting in the bleachers on the first base side brought all that back to me. Beyond that, a ballgame at the Dome was more than a ballgame. As you entered, you took a tissue to be used to wave goodby to an opposing pitcher when he was knocked out of the game. And then there was the announcer Paul Strelzin.

The Strelz was a big part of the enjoyment of the game at the Dome. When the opposing team was having a rally, he would wave a red flag at them to stop the rally. The Green Weanie flag would hopefully lead to a Diablos rally. Beyond the right field wall was the El Paso Zoo and so, when a leftie came up, Strelz would encourage the batter to “wake up the elephants”, i.e., hit a homerun. Strelzin would come up with nicknames for the players. Thus, Tom Brunansky became “Brunooo” Brunansky. Daryl Sconiers was “Jaws” with the famous music playing whenever he came to bat. Paul Strelzin also has the distinction of being the only announcer to be ejected from a game!

One would also encounter dedicated Diablos fans. One man I remember was named Diner Davis. The name Diner, he explained, was because he once worked on a railroad dining care. Diner carried a pocket calculator with him and would recalculate each Diablo’s batting average after every at-bat.

On Fridays the Diablos sponsored ten cent beer night. (This was in the late 70s). Quite a buzz for a dollar.

I went to the Dome many times. We had my close friend’s bachelor party there. I shared the Dome with my children. They all remember Paul Strelzin, cotton candy, nachos, the sun setting behind the Franklin Mountains.

In time the Dome showed its age and the Diablos relocated to a ballpark on the edge of El Paso. It was Cohen Stadium, a large concrete facility that put some distance between fans and players. By then, Strelzin was gone and so was some of the ballgame’s unique character. Prices also went up and so interesting characters such as Diner Davis could no longer afford an evening of baseball. In 2005 the Dome was torn down.

The Diablos eventually gave way to the trend of minor league teams becoming big business. They were twice sold to big business groups and eventually lost their Major League affiliation, trying to make a go of it in independent baseall. Eventually the team was sold and moved with a different name.

In 2014 baseball returned to El paso with a new downtown stadium and a new team — the Chihuahuas, a AAA affiliate of the San Diego Padres. The ballpark is beautiful. The concessions are expensive. Baseball as big business is now a part of El Paso.

One of my heroes is Curt Flood. Curt played for the St. Louis Cardinals in the late 1960s. When he was traded to the Philadelphia Phillies, he refused to cooperate with the trade and challenged the reserve clause which empowered owners to completely control the destiny of the players. Flood lost his case in the Supreme Court but a few years later more challenges ended the reserve clause, allowing players to negotiate such matters as salary. The era of free agency began in the 1970s and changed baseball forever.

The cost of escalating salaries as well as changes to the economy moved baseball owners to embrace business models. The impact and value of baseball clubs to their communities became less important. The trend reached a peak with the contraction of minor league baseball a few years ago. Major League baseball eliminated multiple minor league teams as no longer necessary. For many of these communities, baseball was a community event that most could afford. The contraction of the minor leagues led to a significant loss. Other communities such as El Paso witnessed their beloved teams transformed into corporate businesses.

There are still moments when baseball brings communities together. I think of Mike Piazza’s homerun for the Mets after 9/11. I think of David Ortiz’s memorable speech to the crowd at Fenway Park after the Boston Marathon bombings. Sadly, that type of coming together would not have happened without the tragedies that were a focus.

Perhaps that is the loss I grieve when I think of the Dudley Dome — a loss of a sense of community that baseball was able to bring. Many of us have had that sense of community in other ways as well. Most of us still seek that sense whether through sports or religion or neighborhoods. I wonder if that access to community has become less and less. Why? Big business? Political divisiveness? Decreasing interest in religion? Fear in an increasingly violent world? Probably all of the above and more.

The other day I met a veteran who had played baseball for a local high school. We were roughly the same age so I asked him if he remembered Dudley Field. He smiled and said “I once played there on my high school team.” It was a moment of connection. A momentary sense of community.

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On War

As I write this, President Trump has initiated a war against Iran. There is opposition as there should be. Some of it is based on questions about his authority to start a war. There is also support.

When I was in college, at a family gathering I sat with my Great-aunt Margaret. She was in her early 90s at that time. At one point, she looked at me and asked “What do you think of this war, Richard?” She was referring to the Viet Nam War. I said “I think it’s a bad war, Aunt Margaret.” She nodded and said “So do I.” After a pause she added “So many young men…” Later I realized that the Viet Nam War was the fifth war my aunt had lived to see.

So many young men. And now so many young women as well.

When I was in college, I was trying to decide whether or not to file for status as a conscientious objector. I studied the Catholic Church’s position on war. I read Thomas Aquinas and the Just War theory. In a miscalculation, I concluded that I could not claim that status since I had been very violent in my youth, getting into many fights. I later came to see that awareness of this inner violence was the VERY REASON for me to declare myself non-violent. To this day, I know my potential for violence. As much as possible, I decry violence as an option for solving problems.

Like Pete Seeger, though, I also know that, if anyone were to attack my country or my family, as old as I am I would be on the front line.

And so I, as a Catholic man capable of violence, am faced with deciding my position on this current war.

As a psychotherapist, I have spent many hours sitting with combat veterans of all wars since and including World War II. I have born witness to the scars, physical and mental, caused by war. I have listened to many stories of lives changed forever by exposure to death in combat. I have spoken with men and women who lost their faith on the battlefield. I have spoken with men and women carrying a burden of guilt because they survived. I have sat with men and women who have tried to drink or drug or tattoo their pain away. Yes, many of these same veterans tried to face their pain and some did find healing. But they also know that war never really leaves their consciousness.

This for me is the reason to stand in opposition to this current action. War is too high a price to pay for some political or religious advantage. Others may argue about the evils of Islam or Communism or any other Ism. I can only argue in return that there has to be a better way. We must look at war from a human perspective, not from a political one.

Finally I must evaluate war as a Christian. Many Christians and Catholics embrace the Just War theory. Others point to Jesus saying “I come with a sword”. Yet the bottom line of Jesus’ message is that of peace and non-violence, summed up in His words “Love your enemy”, words that are perhaps His greatest challenge. Many so-called Christians may add to that with words like “except” or “unless”. Jesus didn’t add any exceptions.

I can’t change the political environment. I can’t change the minds of those supporting this war. The only contribution I can make is to continue to heal the violence within me, hoping and praying that in some small way that makes a difference. As the hymn says “Let there be peace on earth/And let it begin with me.” Amen to that!

As you reflect on your own views, I leave you with this timeless song that speaks to the realities of war.

“Where Have All The Flowers Gone?”- Kingston Trio

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On Your Inner Boo Radley

Today I learned that actor Robert Duvall died. Perhaps more than any other actor, his different roles aided my own spiritual journey. Mac Sledge from Tender Mercies helped me address suffering that doesn’t make sense. His role in True Confessions helped me address issues in my own relationship with my brother. And Augustus McRae of Lonesome Dove helped me in many ways. More than anything, he was a passionate man who accepted people as they were (with the noticeable exception of a bartender in San Antonio!)

But Boo Radley came to me with an important spiritual lesson early in my journey. This performance was early in Robert’s career but provided a character in image that has stayed with me on my journey for over 60 years.

As my personal homage to this great actor, I am reposting with revisions this piece.

My favorite book and movie are To Kill a Mockingbird. When I first read the book, when I finished I turned back to page 1 and read it again. The first time I saw the movie I went back the next night to see it again. The book and movie have greatly impacted my life.

As I noted in an earlier post, Atticus Finch gave me a role model for being a father. But I also am drawn to one other figure who appears infrequently but looms large throughout the story. That figure is Boo Radley.

Boo was a neighbor who, by and large, was a recluse, kept at home in part because of a violent incident. Boo would probably be diagnosed as schizophrenic nowadays. Yet Boo becomes attached to the Finch children and starts to give them small gifts — a school spelling medal, a pocket knife, a broken watch and chain and other little surprises the children would find in a knothole of a tree.

Being a recluse, however, Boo was someone of whom the children were both afraid and intrigued by. As their friend Dill says, “Wonder what he does in there? Wonder what he looks like?”, starting an effort to make Boo Radley come out. And come out he does in a powerful act of self-sacrifice.

Why am I drawn to Boo? I think in part because I have parts of me that I kept locked up and perhaps continue to keep locked up, mainly out of some sort of fear. Thus, for example in my own case, I kept creativity locked up out of fear of being criticized. Perhaps you have kept a part locked up as well. Out of fear, some of us keep locked up our capacity for loving. Boo did not!

I realize too that, especially in retirement, I have great potential to be reclusive. Perhaps I always did. After all, I learned some years ago that within the El Paso professional community I was viewed as reclusive.

We know that the Shadow part of our personality comes bearing a gift, just as Boo Radley did. But to receive that gift, we have to find a way to let our own Boo Radley come out. I don’t know that I have been successful in that endeavor.

Here then is the beautiful scene after Boo Radley comes out (And, yes, that is a very young Robert Duvall as Boo!)

Thank you Robert for your many ways of helping me on my own journey. RIP

Reflection: What is your inner Boo Radley like? Have you been able to let him/her out in some way?

 

 

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Heroes: The Four Immortal Chaplains

February 3 is set aside to honor the Four Chaplains. I wanted to repost this to celebrate their lives and sacrifice

The story of the four chaplains is not well known enough. True, they were honored on a postal stamp as well as at various religious sites. But, especially during a time when religion is rife with scandal, conflict, divisiveness and judgment of others, the story of the four chaplains stands as a beacon of hope and a reminder that, in the face of need, religious affiliation doesn’t matter.

George Fox was a World War I veteran yet when WWII broke out, he felt called to serve again, this time as a Methodist minister. On the USS Dorcester, he met collegues Alexander Goode, a Jewish rabbi, Clark Poling, a Dutch Reformed minister, and John Washington, a Catholic priest. The four men had become good friends and spent meals together, at times exploring each other’s religious traditions but often talking of home and family. All had enlisted as chaplains when World War II broke out.

The four men came together on the USS Dorchester, a transport carrying roughly 900 soldiers into battle. But beneath the waves lurked German U-boats intent on preventing soldiers from reaching the battle front. One such U-boat had the Dorchester in its sights.

While the four chaplains provided services specific to their religions, the daily needs of the soldiers were responded to by all chaplains, regardless of the religion of the soldier before him. Thus, one evening Fr. Washington aggressively confronted some soldiers giving one man a hard time because he was Jewish.

On a freezing North Atlantic night off the coast of Greenland the Dorchester was hit and began to sink. Chaos reigned. Of the 900 soldiers aboard, 2/3 would meet their death, the four chaplains among them.

Stories of the chaplains came to light among the survivors. One man recalled Chaplain Fox handing him a life saver, insisting he had another one. He didn’t. Another man recalled Rabbi Goode insisting that the man take his gloves before going overboard, the chaplain insisting that he had another pair. He didn’t. Still another soldier recalled Chaplain Washington insisting a young soldier climb down a rope to possible safety. After the young soldier left, Chaplain Washington did not climb down the rope himself but went to help others.

The enduring image of the four chaplains was shared by several soldiers who, froma safe distance, watched as the ship went under. Several saw the four chaplains together, arms linked, praying. Here is a painting of that image:

For me, the story of the four chaplains is an enduring testimony to the belief that all roads lead to God, that no one faith has it all right, and that in the face of tragedy religion becomes irrelevant. None of the chaplains asked a soldier “What’s your religion?’ before giving them a life jacket or gloves. Heroism can definitely be spiritual but, as with the four chaplains, heroism rises above the limitations of organized religion.

READING AND VIEWING: Two very good books on the four chaplains are No Greater Glory by Dan Kurzman and The Immortals by Stephen T. Collis. Collis’ book also includes the story of Charles Walter David Jr., an African American petty officer on one of the rescue ships who risked hypothermia rescuing soldiers from the freezing sea. A very good documentary can be found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ewJp8HhYzA&t=7s

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Stories of Sacred Places

I firmly believe that some places are sacred. Imbued with the presence of God. Holy ground was not only offered to Moses on Mt. Sinai. It surrounds us if we only pay attention.

I have been blessed with time spent in many sacred places. Here I offer stories about a few of them. None of them are churches. All of them have elements of the mystical.

     A brief aside about mysticism. When we hear the word “mystic”, we tend to think of saints, and holy people. We tend to think of mystical experience as something reserved for them, not for the rest of us. It might help you to be more aware of mystical experience in your own life if you keep William James’ description in his classic work Varieties of Religious Experience. James identified four aspects of mystical experience: 1. They are ineffable. This means that they escape words. As Abraham Joshua Heschel said: “To become aware of the ineffable is to part company with words.” 2. They are noetic. These experiences hint at a deeper truth and sense of connection with God and God’s creation. 3. They are transient. I would love to hold onto the feelings I had in various sacred places. I can’t. 4. They are passive. As I learned in one story I’ll share with you, you can’t decide “Today I’ll have a mystical experience.”

Guadalupe Mountains National Park

About 90 miles east of El Paso along the road to the better-known Carlsbad Caverns is a National Park not known to many. The Guadalupe National Park is set in the desert, yet the mountains stretch up to the sky. It has long been a favorite spot for hiking with my family. One particularly beautiful trail is the Tejas Trail which climbs from the desert into the pines.

Prior to one particular hike with my son, I had what I consider to be mystical experiences. Often they involved encounters with wild animals such as deer or, in one case, a beautiful golden eagle. On this hike I was bound and determined to have a mystical experience. Nothing happened.

     As we prepared to descend from the mountains on the back side of the trail, I sat for a moment and realized I had not had my sought-after mystical experience. I gave up, accepting that it wasn’t meant to be that day. But then just after I gave up, I turned to one side and saw a deer staring at me. It was as if she was saying “Ok, now that you’ve given up trying to force it, you can have your mystical experience.” That deer and that day taught me that I can remain open to the mystical but I can’t get one on demand.

Santa Elena Canyon

In Suth Central Texas along the border with Mexico is the massive Big Bend National Park. It too highlights the desert but has the Rio Grande running through it. One hike that my wife and I undertook was into Santa Elena Canyon, a beautiful spot with the Rio Grande running through it between two countries.

     Towards the end of our hike, my wife and I were speechless because of the beauty. Then my wife said, “I feel like singing!” So we both stood there in the canyon singing “Amazing Grace.” As we finished my wife pointed. There were several hawks flying in a circle, singing their own song in response. In that moment I felt a deep connection to the birds, the canyon, and my wife.

Ballinskelligs, Ring of Kerry, Ireland

We have been blessed with two trips to Ireland. On one we undertook driving the Ring of Kerry, a scenic and popular drive along the Southwest coast of Ireland. On our first day we were to cover half the route and stay at a bed and breakfast in Ballinskelligs. The trip had an ominous start. I was still adjusting to driving on the left side of the road when I swerved to avoid an ongoing truck. I hit a sod hill close to the road and eventually stopped to check for damage. I saw that both tires on the left side of the car were going flat.

     Thankfully I had signed up for the Irish equivalent of AAA and so called for help, expecting a long wait. However, 20 minutes later a tow truck pulled up with Murphy’s Garage on the side. The driver loaded our car onto his vehicle and then asked us to hop in. I asked “Are you Mr. Murphy? And he said “I am. Ted’s me name. And you are?” I told him we were the Pattersons from El paso TX and he immediately sang the first line of the famous Marty Robbins song. He deposited us at a pub and was back in 30 minutes, our car all fixed. He asked, “Do you mind if I have me lunch?” and then regaled us with wonderful stories before getting us back on the road.

     The next morning I set out on a country road headed toward the ocean. I was accompanied by the owners’ dog Jack. We reached a beautiful beach that stretched far into the fog. It was untouched. Our footprints were the first that day.  I ran for a mile or so then turned back, enjoying with every step the sea breeze, the ocean spray and saltiness, the sun breaking through the fog, all the while Jack staying by my side. The beauty of that place gave me a strong connection with the beach, the ocean, the Creator of it all, and yes even Jack. I was sorry to leave that beach. I think perhaps so was Jack.

The Singing Birds

One last lesson in the mystical. For some years I would walk home from my office on Good Friday. This had become a meaningful time of meditation as well as a physical challenge over a distance of 10 miles. One Friday I began to reflect on the term “live in the now” It has been a popular expression but points to an important aspect of mystical experience – being open and paying attention. As I trudged along with these musings, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Hanging from a house’s eves were six cages with birds in them. The birds were singing. I stood for several minutes enjoying their song then moved on. It was a beautiful mystical moment that I almost missed because I was wrapped up in my own thoughts.

We don’t always have a sense of sacred place even when it is happening. Moses had to be told he was walking on sacred ground. Israel observed, after his potent spiritual experience, that God had been in that place and he didn’t know it. Abraham had been visited by angels and didn’t know it. Yet none of these holy men ignored the experience. Once they knew that God was present, they paid attention.

Reflection: What experiences of sacred place have you had?

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Stories of Baseball and Learning to be Enthused

     For some, baseball is a spiritual experience. If you remember Game 4 of the 2004 playoffs between the Yankees and the Redsox, you may remember pictures of Redsox fans in the stands clearly praying, especially in the bottom of the 9th with Dave Roberts on first base. You could almost hear their prayers: “I know he’s going to try to steal second base, Lord. Please PLEASE help him!” And there were plenty of Amens when Dave did indeed steal second, opening the way to eventual Redsox triumph.

     There is even a book titled Baseball As A Road to God in which the authors find parallels between baseball and the spiritual journey.

     I have been a baseball fan for most of my life. When I was a boy, I rooted for the Braves. I was especially a fan of Red Schoendienst but more on him later. In 1960 I also rooted for the Pirates, especially hoping that they would defeat the hated Yankees. I still replay Bill Mazeroski’s Series-winning homerun.

     I drifted away from baseball for a while but still took note of great events ranging from the Miracle Mets to the death of Roberto Clemente. Then in 1983 I got into recovery from addiction and baseball played an unexpected role.

       About being sober for a year, I was very grateful that alcohol was no longer a daily ritual. But my life felt tepid. Some loved ones have the gift of enthusiasm, a gift I lack. And so I realized that what was missing in my life was enthusiasm. In recovery circles there is a phrase “Fake it ‘til you make it.” I took that to heart. “I’ll fake being enthused” I thought. “But enthused about what?” I had just been in a production of the play On Golden Pond. At one point the main character bemoans the fate of his beloved Detroit Tigers. “That’s it” I thought. “I’ll be enthused about baseball!”

     But you can’t just be a fan of baseball. You have to root for a specific team. I knew it couldn’t be the Yankees nor was I drawn to either of the Pennsylvania teams. Then it came to me. When I was a boy I was a joyful recipient of an autographed baseball card of the Redsox’s Jimmy Piersall. My hometown of Scranton had a baseball farm team for the Redsox. And my Uncle Joe ad been an avid fan. So the Redsox it was. I bought a hat and began to read the sports page every evening, cursing if the Redsox lost, cheering if they won.

        Addiction recovery has a spiritual component to it and so my experiment with enthusiasm turned out to be spiritual. The word enthusiasm, after all, comes from the Greek and means “To be inspired or impressed by a god” or in my case –God.

 The exercise worked! My love of baseball became a part of my life, my wife’s life, my children’s lives and ultimately my Grandchildren’s’ lives. And I benefited spiritually by learning the spiritual path of enthusiasm.

          It was my love of baseball that brought me to Cooperstown to visit the sacred center for any baseball fan – the Baseball Hall of Fame. I travelled there while visiting with my parents. My mother was initially not going to go but then I told her “Mom, Red Schoendienst was voted into the Hall this year.” She changed her mind.

      In the late 50s Red was playing for the Braves. He missed much of one season because of battling tuberculosis. One night my mother and I were watching the Braves playing the Phillies. This game marked Red’s return to baseball, a fact that greatly impressed my mother. When she stood in front of Red’s plaque she said simply but with great affection “Good for Red!”

     It turns out my mother had remained a bit of a baseball fan. At one point I found her reading some of Nolan Ryan’s statistics. I was surprised since Nolan came along much later than Red. “You know Nolan Ryan?” I said. She looked over her glasses at me with a hint of irritation and said “Of course I know who Nolan Ryan is!”

     We had gone to Cooperstown in September when it would not be crowded. We had dinner then returned for a last visit to the Hall. There were only a handful of people there. Can you imagine? It felt like we had the Hall all to ourselves!

     Years late, as my mother was on her death bed, I read an earlier version of this story to her. She smiled and said, “To think that I almost didn’t go on that trip!”

     The next morning I took a run on the outskirts of Cooperstown. It was the kind of crisp September morning that brought memories of piles of leaves for jumping, the smell of burning leaves, and of course the World Series.

     As I ran, my mind was filled with baseball memories. Running home from school in time to see Maz’s homer. Going to Yankee Stadium to see my beloved Jimmy Piersall play and getting to witness Roger Maris hit #56 in his quest for 61. Taking each of my children to their first Major League games. But I also thought of Red. You see, I suffer from asthma. Two years previous to this run, it had almost killed me. So I knew what it was like to struggle for breathing, just as Red did when he battled TB.

     As I ran, I enjoyed the easy flow of air in my lungs. I imagined that Red too would have celebrated that awareness. For those of us who have struggled to breathe never again take it for granted. I believe Red and I were connected, knowing the joy of something as simple as breathing.

Reflection: How have you experienced the spiritual gift of enthusiasm?

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Christmas Stories

I am a big believer in story-telling. I was told once that in the El Paso community I was known as a psychologist who told stories. And indeed stories are a great way to communicate therapeutic notions. But some stories are just good stories. I hope you have a few good stories about Christmas. If you’ve heard mine before, please forgive me. But some good stories are worth repeating.

When I was young, I often served Mass at a local center for retired nuns. One Christmas while we served Mass and then enjoyed some cocoa and cookies served by the nuns, it had been snowing. As my friend Butch Mellody and I started home we began to cross the hockey field at the local girls’ college. The field was covered with snow and was untouched. That moment at about one in the morning, standing before great beauty, seemed sacred to me. It still does.

Another Christmas season I worked as a mailman. One day I entered an apartment house to deliver mail. I was cold and miserable. A man was standing there waiting for his mail and I expected the same complaint I had been receiving: “Why are you so late?” This man whispered something and I thought “Here it comes!” I said “I beg your pardon?” and in a moment frozen in time, he put a microphone to his throat and said in a staticky voice “Merry Christmas”. I realized he had throat cancer and yet he added “And a Happy New Year.” How trivial my complaints about the cold and the customers felt as I left him thumbing through his mail.

There is the story of my mother on her last Christmas. I had received word of her cancer and the decision against chemotherapy. So I went back East to visit with her one last time. It was a beautiful time. But on the day before I was leaving, one week before Christmas, I walked into her room and she said “What are you doing here?” A little off-guard, i said “Mom, I’m not leaving until tomorrow.” She said “Isn’t today Christmas?” And I said no. But then I realized what she was up to. “Mom, are you trying to stay alive through Christmas?” She said “Of course I am! I don’t want to spoil everyone’s Christmas!” Ad that’s exactly what she did She slipped into a coma Christmas evening and died three days later.

Unlike Ralphie from a Christmas story, I don’t have a Christmas gift story about something like a Red Ryder rifle. But I do have a story about a silly little Christmas tree with trinkets on it, the kind of trinkets that might come in a box on Cracker Jacks. There’s a whistle, a light bulb, a key, a frying egg, and a harmonica that works. When I was 3 or 4, I saw that tree in a store I guess. I really liked it but was told it was too expensive. And yet Christmas morning there it was! I still have it. I suppose it reminds me of the simple joy found in a gift worth very little money-wise but with great meaning to a little boy.

I also have been blessed with listening to many Christmas stories. Some were not always happy ones yet needed to be told. Soldiers away from family at Christmas. Anniversary dates of losses. Memories of troubled families. Yet these stories too were in the minds and hearts of those telling them and I was and am always grateful they could share them with me.

So I hope you have a Christmas story or two and hope you share them.

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The Long Thanksgiving Dinner 2025

Thanksgiving has come and gone but it is never too late to celebrate this greatest of holidays! It is a time to celebrate family. It is a time to remind ourselves of the need for ongoing gratitude, especially during these days when fear and anger seem prevalent.

In the past, I have written about Thornton Wilder’s beautiful one act play “The Long Christmas Dinner” in which the life cycle of a family is portrayed over an imagined dinner in which persons come in through a white birth curtain and leave through a black curtain.

For me, that table is set at Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday. I can see generations gathered about that table. Many have gone through the Black Curtain, some quite suddenly, some way too young.

One of my sisters never even makes it to the table. She comes to the table and leaves immediately through the Black Curtain. My other sister sits for only a moment, then also leaves.

But I also see many loved ones who sat at that table many times. My parents and my brother are there. Although she is aged, my Mom leaves the table quickly while my father takes a long slow walk to the Black Curtain.

I see old Aunt Margaret, she who was in Paris when Lindbergh landed. She who saw Babe Ruth play baseball (“Clumsiest man I ever saw!”). She who, in her 90s, gave me the finest anti-war sentiment I ever heard as she shook her head and said “So many young men.”

There are my Uncle Gaddy and Aunt Peg, my surrogate grandparents. I never sat at the table with my grandmothers. They had walked through the Black Curtain before I walked through the white one.. My grandfathers were also gone by the time I was 7. So these two wonderful people filled a great void — Gaddy with his burly Irish accent, the smell of cigars about him and Peg, maker of the World’s Greatest Peanut Butter cookies.

Aunt Mary is there, she who was schizophrenic, carrying on a constant patter of self-talk or reading romance novels.

I see too my Uncle Joe and Aunt Kathleen. She was sophisticated and helped John F. Kennedy carry the vote in Rhode Island. He was a veteran of the South Pacific, down-to-earth, smoking a cigarette as he was dying of lung cancer. Among many things, he helped me love the Redsox.

I see my Aunt Dorothy, my father’s only sibling. She who never married and the day after she retired, quit drinking, packed up and moved to California to be closer to my brother, leaving behind a stunning example of courage.

And I see my wife and family. For they — my wife, my children, my grandchildren and my son- and daughters-in-law– are at the center of my gratitude.

And yet, as I gather with my family, I will pause to be grateful for the many wonderful people, friends and family alike, who have gathered at my Thanksgiving table in person or in spirit. As always, others who were present in the past have slowly or quickly left the table for the black curtain. Yet all who grace and have graced that table will be present. We will join hands in gratitude and in hope, remembering especially this year the words from Shawshank Redemption: “Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.”

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here is the great Perry Como. Even as he aged, his voice still was a blessing!

Perry Como Live – Bless This House

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Senses as a Gateway to God

The Catholicism of my youth was at odds with our bodies. We were usually reminded that our bodies are “temples of the Holy Spirit”, implying that our human desires had no place in that temple. Further, discussions of sin tended to emphasize sexual sins, putting us further odds with our bodies, especially as puberty arrived.

I remember feeling some joy and relief when I first saw the film Chariots of Fire. At one point, Eric Liddel is trying to explain his love of running to his sister. He says: “God made me for a purpose…..But He also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.”

God in the midst of pleasure? What a revolutionary moment for me!

As time passed, I began to recognize that some profound spiritual experiences did not happen in churches but rather in the midst of sensory experience. The notion “live in the now” became popular and, to some extent, trivialized. But I did see that “living in the now” required me to be in touch with my senses.

Some of my greatest spiritual experiences have been sensual. Seeing Van Gogh’s Starry Night. Hearing Andrea Bocelli in concert singing Nessum Dorma. The coolness and emptiness of a pristine beach near the Skelligs in Ireland as I ran.

But suppose that I can connect with the God of my understanding on a regular basis just by paying attention to my senses? What might that look like?

I first realized that, to experience my God through my senses, I have to pay attention. I remember once I was walking home on my Good Friday walk. I was trying to figure out the whole notion of living in the now. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted several bird cages hanging from a house roof. The birds were singing! I stopped and listened to their concert. God was in that moment and, for a change, I paid attention. All I had to do was to stop, watch, and listen.

To be open to my senses, however, means that I have to accept unpleasant sensations. The pain from a 20-stitch gash in my leg (which, by the way, resulted from not paying attention!) The smell of burning dumps back in my hometown. (My mother, always finding God throughout her day, used to comment that the Sulphur in the air caused beautiful sunsets). The taste of sour milk. The sight of an immigrant detention center. The sound of my loved ones crying. I can’t be open to the good experiences while avoiding the unpleasant ones. It’s a package deal. Light has no meaning without darkness.

And, yes, God is there in the midst of sexual union in a profound way.

In the play The Fantastiks the narrator says “Celebrate sensation!” Indeed we should celebrate sensation. It can become a beautiful form of prayer.

When I look back on the notion of our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit, I recognize that I did desecrate the temple of my body when I smoked three packages of cigarettes or a six-pack of beer each day with more on weekends. I desecrated this temple when I did not take medication for asthma in a proper way. But through prayer and meditation of the body, I have learned to honor that temple.

Here then are some of the recent entries in my prayerbook of the senses:

The desert and sky on a recent hike in the Franklin Mountains

Hearing my daughter practice her French horn

Tasting my wife’s homemade cookies

Hugs on Becky and Ben’s recent visits home

The fresh smell after the rare rainstorm in El Paso

For me to connect with God through my senses, I must pay attention. Jacob’s words stand as a reminder: “God was in this place and I did not know it!” (Genesis 28:16)

Reflection: How do you experience the God of your understanding through your senses?

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Favorite Bible Passages

Last Sunday I was assigned to do the reading at Mass. It was from 2 Timothy and was a favorite passage of mine; however, the translation watered it down and so, when I read it, I did so with the phrasing I like. The passage has great meaning to me and I didn’t appreciate some translator watering it down.

That experience in turn got me to reflect on favorite Bible passages. I am about to finish reading the Bible again and continue to have all kinds of mixed reactions. Some parts make my heart soar. Other parts sadden me. Others get me thinking. And, yes, some parts are still crushingly boring. And, yes, the Bible isn’t the only book of wisdom that I read. For me, each time I read it I relate to the humanness of David and to the anger of Job. My heart soars with some of Isaiah’s poetry. I get a lump in my throat when I read of Jesus and Dismas.

Here is the passage I read last Sunday “I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.” (2Timothy 4:7) As a runner who has run a few marathons, I understand that faith at times requires endurance and that, as I ran the streets of New York City or Falmouth or DC, I fought with myself, being tempted to give up. This passage too calls to mind the faith of people like my mother and mother-in-law, women who maintained a deep faith in the face of deep tragedies.

“Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) This passage is the cornerstone of my efforts to meditate. As 12_steppers say, prayer is talking to God and meditation is listening. To listen, I have to quiet my mind, something I find quite challenging. Repeating this passage in rhythm with my breathing helps.

“They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings as eagles. They will run and not go weary. They will walk and not grow feint”. (Isaiah 40:31) Another running image! Inspired by the film Chariots of Fire this passage helps me negotiate the tricky calling to “let go and let God.” A stained glass plaque with this passage given to me by my son Ben is on my wall where I see it every day.

“I believe, Lord. Help me in my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24) A man seeking Jesus’ help with a dying son makes this honest admission and Jesus helps him. As a man who struggles with doubts, this gives me hope.

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child. I thought as a child. I reasoned as a child. When I became a man, I put away childish things.” (Mark 9:24) On two different occasions, I was advised that perhaps my faith needed to grow up. The nerve of that priest and that therapist! They were, of course, right. For my faith to grow up, I have had to face doubts. I have had to face the anger I sometimes hold toward God. I have had to base my religious journey on something other than guilt and fear.

“Teach us to number our days that we may have wisdom of heart” (Psalms 90:12) This passage reminds me not to take life for granted and to live with a heart of gratitude. The great temptation is to take our lives for granted and to assume we’ll be around a long time. This Psalm call us to challenge that assumption, not out of fear but out of appreciation.

“Today you will be with me in Paradise.” (Luke 23:43) These words of Jesus to Dismas as they both were dying on crosses continues to be a source of great hope to me. This story of Dismas, also known as the Good Thief, appears only in the Gospel of Luke. Dismas was at rock bottom yet reached out to Jesus with hope. Jesus did not turn him away. As a person in recovery, Dismas is my patron saint.

Other better known passages such as Psalm 23 and Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (I sure wish the politicians would at least read this!) have also helped me and challenged me. I am sure there are more passages waiting for me when I will need them.

I’ll close with this great scene from Chariots of Fire.

Reflections: Do you have any favorite Bible passages?

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