When I was 4 years old, I wanted a pony. The fact that we lived in a triplex house with a postage stamp-sized backyard did not deter me. I wanted a pony. And so, being the good little Catholic boy that I was, I prayed for one.
As my life has progressed, I find that I struggle more with the idea of prayer. Jesus said “Knock and it shall be opened” yet all of our lives have the reality of unanswered prayers. Some would tell us that our prayers get answered, just not in the way we want. Others would say that God’s Will stands as a counterbalance to our wishes and desires. For myself, I find that I am increasingly bothered by the idea of prayerful requests. Many of the issues about which I’ve prayed (such as money) are likely to be issues about which God is not concerned. This thought first developed when I participated in athletics. Two Catholic schools would come together for a basketball game. Both teams would call upon God for victory or at least to make a foul shot. Whom did God listen to? It finally occurred to me that perhaps God didn’t care about the outcome of a basketball game but rather was more concerned with things like sportsmanship and each player doing his best.
At this point, I still make requests via prayer, mainly requests for the benefit of loved ones. (No, I don’t pray to win the lottery anymore!) But I believe there are three other types of prayer that matter more.
One is the prayer of gratitude. Pausing to be thankful for the simple things in my life (like being able to breathe with lungs not being choked by asthma today) give me a sense of serenity.
Similarly, I think the mystical prayer of wonder is of greater value. When, for example, I have stood in the presence of Dali’s painting of the Last Supper, I am struck speechless and filled with emotion. This, I think, is prayerful.
Finally, there is silent prayer. The effort to just listen. The embracing of silence. Do I hear the Voice of God when I am quiet? I don’t know. But I hear something and that something often gives me a sense of peace or a sense of hope.
And, no, I didn’t get the pony.
Reflection: 1. What role does prayer play in your spiritual world? What types of praying mean the most to you?
My spiritual life revolves around prayer. I pray the rosary, I pray the Our Father and all the other prayers I learned all these years ago by the nuns, and I (just since Vatican II) talk to Jesus and God, my Father. I talk to my Blessed Mother and ask her for prayer, along with all the angels and saints. And, no, I do not pray to all the angels and saints or even my Blessed Mother. I ask for their prayers. I read scripture and all my Catholic prayer books but the prayer that is the most meaningful is when I empty myself to God. I just sit and ask for nothing. I try hard not to ask for anything and in the silence I listen for God’s words. It is when I empty myself that I am able to find the most peace and joy then at any other time. At this time in my life, I am finally able to do this. (It has taken many years!)
Thanks again, Rich, for food for thought!
Rose
Richard, I have always been uncomfortable with the idea of prayer. I always felt a little greedy for asking. Instead, I offer work up as a prayer. When I am throwing a pot or pressing flowers or folding paper, I offer it up as a prayer of thanks.
Prayer is a vital part of my spiritual life. God always answers my prayers. And by the way, I did get the pony and it wasn’t all that much fun. 🙂
Thank you again Rich for sharing your insights and reminding us of the prayer of gratitude. <3